Anger,"It is not What You Think It is"

After many years of teaching others, working within the mental health world and probably most importantly dealing with my own issues around Anger as a male in western culture, I have come to A great realization.

"Anger is not What I think it is"

In fact the more I thought about all of the times i have gotten angry, exploded and hurt others as well been angry with myself and kept my feelings in, the more it stayed in place.

The more I judged it, disapproved of it, made it wrong, was embarrased by it, avoided talking about it, hid behind a thin clear veneer of shame the more it waited with intensity to be released and or kept in.

In thinking about it, I was really keeping it in place and it was there to be released, to be brought up, and let go of.

Needless to say up until just recent times, I never really welcomed my feelings. I never "loved" them, Yes loved them.

When entering a new relationship, and I heard a woman speak about not wanting to be around another man with issues of Anger, I withdrew into my shell and thought, " Oh no, if she finds out about me, I will be dumped." Of course i would be reluctant to speak about the unspeakable and that was exactly what i needed to do, at least, the very least with myself.

Welcoming and loving all feelings, Accepting these parts of me, in actually makes me who I am.

Now that does not mean, I condone or will permit in-appropriate behavior. What I mean is to be aware of the feelings that are there as they rise, and to be honest about them, If I am upset there is nothing wrong with that, I do not have make me for having feelings. Most of beat ourselves up for thinking we should hot them.

In essence we should all over ourselves.

Releasing feelings occures all of the time, as a matter scienece we are energy beings, so when i speak of feelings, and sensations of the body, it is really energy that is coming up to be released, or another word is phenomena........

So we could say, "I am experiencing Energy right now and it is coming up to be released"

So when i saw the energy (emotions rise) I became aware that it wanted release. For example

"I am aware of the energy of Anger" Or " I am aware that I am upset right now"

These statements have a way of bringing us to the present moment, by acknowledging what we are experiencing,.

Notice there is no judgment here, though we may be judging our very own experience or even pushing it away.....which i might say really keeps us stuck.

Most of us make our feelngs or the energy we experience as wrong, and will do anything to get away from them,

We really have learned to defend ourselves with our feelngs, that is mistakenly protecting ourselves, which is silly, cause the feelings, energy, or phenomena really seeks realease and there is nothing wrong about them.

Part of the challenge is when we go to the mind, the cognitive portion of brains in attempt to figure out, "Why am i angry, I want to know. This is our ego's attempt to satisfy it notion, that we should know the answers and if we look at our history, the answers are not there........

Remember all feelings even the good ones are defensive postures that prevents us from letting go. Here is the rub, when we are defending ourselves, letting go is the last path we take isn't it?

Actually we are really out of control and we want to be control, which the same things as saying we experiencing the feeligns of lacking control and we do not know how to release to come into a centered calm, or relaxed of mind.

"Letting go" and or releasing the energy of feelings and emotions, will bring us back to center.

If you would like to know more about this process and how to release. Please visit my website and or call me

Steven Shaps
www.stevenshapsmft.com
www.stevenshapsmft@hotmail.com
503.853.4275